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Creating a Tradition of Healthy Children

By Dianne Tangel-Cate

"The life-history of the individual is first and foremost an accommodation to the patterns and standards traditionally handed down in his community. From the moment of his [sic] birth, the customs into which he is born shape his experience and behavior. By the time he can talk, he is the little creature of his culture, and by the time he is grown and able to take part in its activities, its habits are his habits, its beliefs his beliefs, its impossibilities his impossibilities."-Ruth Benedict, Patterns of Culture
Many cultural forms inhabit the earth, representing the various forms that humanity takes, the various strategies worked out by our species to interact with each other and our environments. These cultural forms are passed on to our children as they become the bearers of tradition.

Clearly, the world's current path is devastating to all life inhabiting our planet. Led mostly by the industrialized powers, we are limiting our options for the future, destroying species, and witnessing the perishing of the human soul. Changes must be made, and we have the opportunity to make positive changes with each new life that enters our earthly realm.

Although, as Ruth Benedict put it, "the vast proportion of all individuals who are born into any society always...assume...the behavior dictated by that society," the relationship between culture and the individual is indeed one of mutual reinforcement. "No civilization," she admitted, "has in it any element which in the last analysis is not the contribution of an individual." Just as the human mind is the internalized embodiment of culture, human agency is the basis of all culture.

It is the common behavior of multiple individuals that gives birth to cultural norms. Margaret Mead said it best: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever does." Change in a cultural structure generally comes from individuals on the fringes, those who possess the creativity and strength to diverge from the powerful, and in some cases destructive, cultural track onto which we are born. This individualism must be encouraged in our children. For it is the valuing of our uniqueness that is the basis of self-esteem. And it is self-esteem that allows children to grow into healthy adults who respect not just themselves, but "the other," and, indeed, all life. High self-esteem provides the foundation for mental wellness and, consequently, physical well-being.

The state of our world, largely determined by the psyches of those living in the world's leading countries, is a reflection of the psychological dysfunction present in the West. Adolf Hitler is but one example from the not-too-distant past whose childhood included beatings and other cruel and humiliating treatment, and who went on to impose standards that glorified such horrors: "In my fortresses of the Teutonic Order," he dictated, "a young generation will grow up before which the world will tremble. I want the young to be violent, domineering, undismayed, cruel. . . .They must be able to bear pain. There must be nothing weak or gentle about them. The free splendid beast of prey must again flash from their eyes. I want my young people strong and beautiful." And the collective consciousness of his people reflected their lack of self-worth, which led them to follow his brutal precepts.

If, to borrow a phrase from Gloria Steinem in Revolution from Within, "...we are to stop producing leaders whose unexamined early lives are then played out on a national and international stage," we must take responsibility for ensuring that every child has every opportunity to fully develop their unique potential that is their innate right. Child rearing, then, must include a conveyance of the child's intrinsic worth.

"Self awareness and cultural awareness are inseparable, which means that transcending unconscious culture cannot be accomplished without some degree of self-awareness," said Edward T. Hall in Beyond Culture. "Intercultural experiences," he added, "can be a tremendous eye-opener." Indeed, cross-cultural perspectives can lend insight into more holistic ways of living and viewing the world. Clearly, the ideals underlying the world's leading cultures have proven to be detrimental to the health of humanity and that of the earth.

In the West in general, we have forgotten that a universal oneness embodies all life. Chief Seattle, though, warned that "whatever happens to the beast soon happens to the man. All things are connected." Native American cultural tradition (quite diverse in some ways, similar in many others) is one we can look to for the wisdom it offers in regard to the overall health of future generations and the whole world. Traditional American Indian stories are in fact powerful heuristic tools for us all.

Native American children have been taught the values of their culture through example and stories. Their education is experiential, not didactic. And rather than ever being lectured or scolded, they are shown the right way. "Talk slowly and kindly to children," said Handsome Lake, the Seneca Iroquois visionary of the early 1800s in his body of teachings entitled The Good Message. "Never punish them unjustly." In the words of a Kwakiutl woodcarver from the Pacific Northwest, "Someone who strikes a child has to be a great coward. Children are so much smaller than adults." Native American children, as they themselves are honored as "gifts from God," have been taught to honor their elders and all their relations-past, present, and future. Their traditions create from birth a reverence for the natural world on which we are all dependent.

"This feeling of connection to all creatures," said Gloria Steinem, "a feeling shared by the most ancient and psychologically sophisticated of cultures, has been lost or suppressed in centuries of religions that demonized nature and created an otherworldly hierarchy."

Ultimately, replacing our hierarchical, patriarchal cultural paradigm with a circular, communal one provides a key to our survival. "When we imagine nation-states," added Steinem, "we could envision families that nurture self-esteem and unique talents in each person; that create independence, not dependence; and that produce people secure enough to take pleasure in empowering others." But, she cautioned, "just as the point of a truly nurturing family is not to keep its members at home forever, the point of a nation is not to draw a line in the sand and keep its members behind it, but to create world citizens who are secure enough to treat others equally."

Learning is crucial to the survival of the individual, the culture, and the species. Yet the dominant system of education needs to be revamped for real learning to take place. Edward Hall summed up the state of learning: "Somehow, in the United States we have managed to transform one of the most rewarding of all human activities into a painful, boring, dull, fragmenting, mind-shrinking, soul-shriveling experience," which leaves many students feeling less than adequate and creates a pattern that leads to insecure, unhealthy adults.

Once again, the only hopeful option is the holistic model, based on our natural learning abilities as humans, and not on a hierarchical structure that suppresses creativity and denies diversity. As one Native American saying goes: "Tell me, and I'll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I'll understand."

In our fast-paced, automated, electronic world, there is much to be learned about slowing down and altering the technological ideal of "the faster the better," valuing love over information or things and altering materialistic ideals such as "more is better," and in general looking within rather than without. "Rather than finding a source in competition," as Steinem explained, we must realize that "self-esteem and excellence both come from the excitement of learning and pressing individual boundaries; a satisfaction in the task itself; pleasure in cooperating with, appreciating, and being appreciated by others-and as much joy in the process as in the result."

We humans have a difficult task ahead of us, but there are positive signs that we are learning: the Green Movement; increased discourse on the necessity of cultural survival, gender equality, and physical fitness; recognition of the impact that stress has on our bodies and our minds; an increase in the vegetarian consciousness, along with a decline in laboratory animal testing of consumer products; and many more than can be listed here.

The well-known expert on children's health Dr. Benjamin M. Spock has this outlook: "Right now...we are neglecting our children emotionally and educationally... we are slipping deeper into acceptance of violence, we are losing our sustaining spiritual beliefs, and we are absorbed in materialism and competitiveness. If we allow these trends to continue, I see us slipping further into chaos."

And Gloria Steinem has warned: "Changing the way we raise children is the only long-term path to peace or arms control, and neither has ever been more crucial."


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